It made me think of all things Annabelle might not ever experience, except for maybe in a museum. Would she ever hear the scratch of a new needle hitting the vinyl on an old record player or hear the clicking between each tune on an 8-track player? Even cassette tapes are considered out-of-date these days and CDs are on the fast track of being yesterdays news. Will she grow up with an MP3 player or will she have something completely different? It seems to funny to think of future technology when I can barely keep up with what is already out today.

My mom had been cleaning through the basement and found all of our childhood records. “Masters of the Universe” and “Care Bears” stood out in the stack, along with the “Monstermash” and the ones McDonald’s used to give away. And I wonder if Annabelle will ever be able to do the “graveyard smash” like we did.

It is kind of nice to have “retro” items back “in” today. With Care Bears and Rainbow Brite back on the shelves, Annabelle and I have a shared love of toys. Although the news ones are slightly different from the characters I grew to love, it’s still fun to see her smile at Strawberry Shortcake and I find myself smiling myself.

However, simpler days seem few and far between these days. Sometimes I really miss the quieter times of my childhood and wish my daughter could play summer hide-n-seek outside in the dark with six of her very best neighborhood friends. Those are memories I’ll never forget and she’ll probably never have. It’s sad to think in such a short time (I’m 26-years-old) things could change so  much. To think playing our game of hide-n-seek with a six-house boundary late at night was dangerous was absurd back then. I would never let Annabelle do it today.

In the fast-pace technology world, I can’t even imagine the things Annabelle will experience, but I vow to keep our record player playing and keep around that one boom box to play old cassette tapes on. Maybe one day she can do the “mash” too!

My husband always tells me we need a book shelf for my obsession. I have five wedding albums, a family album and an album specifically for Annabelle just on one of our end tables. There are two more books inside the end table and my homemade, 900-photo (full) album sitting in our room.

“We counted once and she has 42 pictures on display in our living room and dining room alone,” he would always tell our friends.

So I have a hobby, what’s wrong with that?

My “hobby” has been probably a form of torture to Annabelle. I want to dress her up and pose her in certain ways. She doesn’t want to sit, she doesn’t want to smile, she doesn’t want to look into the camera, she wants to play with it instead. Sometimes it seems impossible to take that perfect photo. I’ve been practicing and will hopefully be good enough to become professional someday.

A few weekends ago I had the chance to take pictures of another cubby-cheeked little girl who was a much better model than Annabelle! Photos included are of Alya Gavan, the newest member of our editorial family — the daughter of Hillary Gavan.

Isn’t she just the cutest?

Since taking on a new love of photography, of my baby and others, I have begun a Web site of my favorite photos. Check me out at www.afjphotography.blogspot.com.

And since I’m not the only one with full memory cards — I want to see your cutest  little one photos! From what I understand you can upload your photos under the security word section! So, lets see all those beautiful children!

(Please be sure to leave attribution if a copyright  is included on the photo.)

Audit raises concerns over sex offenders
MADISON, Wis. (AP) — A new audit finds that addresses of four registered sex offenders in Wisconsin are the same as those of licensed child care providers. The Legislative Audit Bureau report released on Wednesday says it could not determine whether registered sex offenders were actually providing child care at the addresses. The audit says that the state departments of Corrections and Children and Families confirmed the matches and does not believe any children were harmed. The audit bureau called it a serious problem and says the potential for similar situations exists unless new protections are enacted. Last month the Department of Children and Families ordered state licensing and county certification staff to search their databases for registered sex offenders.

I remember the first time my cousin’s mother saw me with my daughter. She smiled and said “you finally have the real baby you’ve always wanted.” And she was right, but something was still wrong.

After a few months of struggling I decided to face what I feared the most in motherhood, postpartum depression. I spent the first few months feeling like I wasn’t connecting with my daughter. I didn’t feel entirely a part, but definitely not as close and I thought I would. It broke my heart and I couldn’t force myself to tell anyone of this awful feeling. I was a bad mother. That’s all that I kept thinking. I started to think maybe I should have waited longer to have a baby. Maybe I wasn’t ready to give up sleeping in on the weekends or being able to run out to the bar whenever my friends asked.
But I was ready.
I am ready.

I finally reached out to my husband, who was finding it difficult to deal with my mood swings, and we decided to it was best for me to get help. I was put on anti-depressants a few months ago and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Although I still have bad days, I am constantly trying my best to cope with everything while still trying to be a good mother, wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, co-worker, employee and friend.

I have decided to no longer be ashamed of my feelings or lack there of. I hope all of you women out there who have experienced postpartum depression will feel the same way today and forever.

Annabelle and me a few months ago.

When I first got the news Sunday evening, I just couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t have been true. As the night went on and Monday began, I started to think about how his family was handling the situation and how awful it must be to lose son, brother, boyfriend … and then it hit me: Eric was a father. He has a little boy that will not understand where his daddy has went. My heart broke and tears streamed down my face.

For the first time in my life I saw death through a parent’s eyes. Just imagining what life would be like for Annabelle without Ryan or myself was unbearable. As all of this was running through my mind, my daughter, now 10-months-old, sat in the backseat of the car yelling “da-da da-da” like she always does. I can’t even explain how much it hurts to think of Eric’s little boy and all the moments he will miss with him.

I couldn’t help but cry the first second I saw my husband after this particular car ride. I immediately rushed Annabelle to his arms as if every moment was precious — because every moment is, just sometimes we need to be reminded. I wish I could say just one more thing to Eric, but now the time has passed.

On behalf of Eric’s memory – please take time out to hug your children, call your parents or siblings and say what you need to say. Life is too precious not to.

Ryan giving Annabelle a kiss.

I’ve always cringed at the child screaming for a candy bar while waiting in line to pay for my items. I’ve also always wondered how the mother could simply ignore the loud shrieks that surely could shatter glass.

Now that I am a mother, I finally know what it is like to be THAT mother.

Just about a month ago Annabelle realized she had lungs and soon after she figured out how to use them, loudly. She likes to scream now for no apparent reason. And she doesn’t just do it once. The first time was in an Aldi grocery store. I’m sure people thought I was pinching her. I couldn’t believe such a blood-curdling scream could come out of something so tiny and gentle. My daughter had perfected the horror movie screech at just 6-months-old. I quickly said “Annabelle you are embarrassing yourself,” when really it was me that was embarrassed. Everyone was staring. As a month or so has gone by I’ve become a pro at ignoring this loud scream Annabelle finds so funny. Now as she is flexing her lung capacity I find myself saying “is that how your day went… oh, what an exciting thing to do at daycare…” just so people laugh instead of stare.

Right now Annabelle’s fits of attention are funny, but in a few years I guarantee she will not be getting away with it! I still maintain my children will not act like that.

(Stay tuned for the “My child acts like THAT” blog shortly!)

For the past few weeks Annabelle has decided she no longer needs to sleep past 4 a.m. Happy giggles and babbling come loudly over the monitor each morning around 4:02 a.m., which apparently is a cue for the cat to start meowing and pawing at the door. Personally, I haven’t seen 4 a.m. since Annabelle was two weeks old and before that was in college. I don’t believe for one minute that my body wants to or can function at this obnoxious hour. After about six days I seriously thought I was going to die. How the heck do women do this? Being a full-time employee, mother, maid and wife is A LOT harder than I ever thought it would be. I can’t even imagine being a single mother who works full-time. Kudos to you mothers out there. You’re doing a great job at EVERYTHING! Hopefully Annabelle and your little ones will appreciate all you do for them someday and hopefully my husband will forgive me for being a grouch during my sleepless weeks. But then, he could get up and get her too

When to start solids seems to be a big debate these days. Annabelle’s pediatrician okayed her to start at 4 months as did the Women Infant Children (WIC) representative. Excited to get things started, my husband and I promptly put Annabelle in her high chair and started with the spoon after her four month appointment. She not only spit it right back out, but she cried pretty hard. She wanted nothing to do with solids. At least not yet.

Because I had read that some doctors were recommending to wait until 6 months of age to introduce babies to solids I didn’t feel the need to keep trying. Apparently waiting was better for blocking food allergies. I don’t know if this is 100 percent accurate or not. I have heard both sides of the board. Needless to say, I didn’t think it would hurt to wait.

About three weeks ago I decided to try some solids on a Saturday afternoon. After the first spoonful Annabelle was lunging towards the spoon to get more. I was excited and happy to see that she was going to start figuring this out, but then by Sunday she was sick with a ton of symptoms and was barely taking the bottle.

Two weeks later she is finally back to normal and we decided to start her on solids. She has one tablespoon at lunch with daycare and two tablespoons at dinner with me or her dad. She seems to really enjoying eating it (although I don’t know why – that stuff smells awful). Now I am worried about what the WIC representative or the pediatrician is going to say at her 6 month appointments next week. We were supposed to have already given her three types of cereal and started her on vegetables. Annabelle is pretty small for her age, but she is healthy and gaining weight so it shouldn’t matter.

I guess there is no absolute way to know when to feed your child. But I hope it’s when they seem to be ready. I hate to think I was starving her the last few months when I didn’t think she was ready.

Any ideas? When did you start feeding you baby? Any funny allergies or reactions when starting at four months or are scientists just crazy? Was I stupid to wait so long?

Annabelle trying out solids. Clearly this is the first spoonful as there is not a giant mess of food all over her face.

I recently stumbled upon an Associated Press story regarding children and the swine flu since the first U.S. death was a 23-month-old child. I knocked down the story to the most important advice for parents.

Here is what AP’s sources suggest:
• Cover your cough, washing your hands often — and tell your children to do the same.
• Avoid sending children with fevers or other signs of illness to school and skip work if they have those symptoms.
• There is no reason to keep children home from preschool or day care to avoid other children just yet.
• Be sure to get annual vaccines to protect children against seasonal flu.
• Watch for classic flu symptoms, including fever of at least 100.5, cough and runny nose. Children old enough to talk might complain of sore throats and body aches. Young children sometimes just have a runny nose and a fever with the flu, and they’re more likely than adults to have vomiting. Parents should contact their physicians if children have these symptoms, but experts said most cases won’t even be flu, let alone swine flu.
• Young children with these symptoms who also are having trouble breathing, or who seem less alert or unable to drink liquid should see a doctor right away because these could be signs of dangerous complications.

Apple apologizes for ‘Baby Shaker’ iPhone game

CUPERTINO, Calif. (AP) — Apple Inc. is apologizing for allowing a 99-cent iPhone game called”Baby Shaker” that let a player quiet a virtual crying infant by shaking the device. Apple removed the program from the iPhone’s App Store on Wednesday, but critics pressed for an apology Thursday. Apple spokeswoman Natalie Kerris said Thursday that the game was “deeply offensive” and said it should not have been approved for sale. “We sincerely apologize for this mistake,” Kerris said in a statement. Apple approves the programs that outside software developers make available in the store. “Baby Shaker” came from a company called Sikalosoft, which has not commented. The game asked players to see how long they could endure a baby’s cries and then shake the phone to stop the wailing.

You can see the AP video regarding the game here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLOCDrmlQwQ