Before internet dating…there was those “personal ads”. There’s another story or book I could write for you as well! It all kinda works out the same, except you still end up “meeting” somewhere….and talking a lot. Once, I talked to someone for almost a year, and I think when we finally did meet, our expectations were just to high. He planned a romantic date at a fancy restaurant on Valentines Day. We had a lot in common and it should of worked out. However, I think sometimes our minds play tricks on us and our expectations get the best of us. I do not recommend waiting too long. We had talked for so long, yet I really could not put his face together with the face I imagined in my head, if you can understand that. There was this sense of “knowing them” without really knowing them. That being said, I think it’s important to get to know the person, a little anyway, before you waste any time, but depending on your schedule, Don’t wait too long. It all is very time consuming. The thing I think that is the best thing about the whole concept, (internet dating) is simply how serious are you and do you really want to share your life with someone. If you do, then you have to put in the time. Create your own destiny.
You will have to always weed out the liars and phonies. There will always be those who lie about their age, (or when the photo was taken) their status, their height, and of course their weight…so be prepared for those. Then, what it all boils down to, is everyone has their own idea of what “perfection is” and what it is they want. Or at least they like to think so. Once, I booked an afternoon with (3) dates: I wore the same outfit… and pretty much looked the same. Yet, the results of those dates, and the perception of me, were all VERY VERY DIFFERENT. I had to laugh, cos again, I was the same person, but looked at very differently in spite of all the pictures that were shown and what the expectations were. So again, I say do not get discouraged. Most people are looking for an opportunity to find their special someone and sometimes they just are not sure of who or what it is they are looking for. I don’t have all the answers… and at the time I did it, I had a child, a busy life, and I learned how to do it the right way for me. Do what works for you. I worked my schedule around open meeting places. It saved me a lot of time and headaches. The “free steak” drink or meal…got old to me pretty quick. I often found I just did not have the time or money or tolerance for the “whole evening”.
Some of the men also got pretty sick of the whole dating routine anyway, and surely did not mind me making it easy for them. I am sure I taught them a thing or two. Since this was so long ago, I am sure they are much smarter now.
Here’s a quick list for your readers:
Know what you want and what you are looking for.
Write a list and go over it in your mind.
Rate the most important things to you. (example) looks, money, sense of humor, etc.,
There is a book, I recall one of my internet buddies shared with me…how to find the love of your life, in the first date, (or something like that it was called) It was a big help.
I also used a ” absolutely NOT ” list…. (like no DUI’s or wives etc.,) but of course, they end being the one you end up wanting. (smile) OOPs
Keep an open mind, no one is perfect.
Do more listening than talking.
If you do not have the time to spend evenings, (do coffee, one drink, an italian ice) Keep it simple.
Pick a park or free public space. You can talk, meet and leave as soon as you want to.
Try not to tell the person everything you want in a person, because they often will try to be someone they are not.
It’s not easy…. it takes time, patience and a lot of work.
Don’t get your hopes up, but then Don’t go into it thinking it’s all a waste. I learned a great deal during those internet dating events.
I went to a few concerts, saw a play…. a drag race. I also made some great friends and had fun. Always be careful without being paranoid.
If you choose to share your address, or an evening…. protect yourself. I had a VERY HUGE Dog, so I did meet a few at home. If they insisted on an evening or a date…I made them pay for the sitter.
I cannot tell you how many dates, events, or people I have met. But I did have a list at one time, and I also think there were many times… I just took a break from it all. I had maybe two or three situations where the ” person” seemed a little scary…. but considering the numbers I went through, I think it was all worth it. I highly recommend it.
I think it helps you gain a perspective, of not only the world and men around you, but about yourself as well. I had a lot of fun, and like I said, I learned a lot.
I think I may have rambled a tad too much. The stories are the funniest, and like I said, I could write a book. so that being said…to all the readers out there… I say Go For it. You can make your own rules! I know I did.